A "used to" wanna be French Person

( I wrote this blog as a joke. I am still having a really good time, and I have met some wonderful people.   It's a good thing to just laugh things off.)


Ok, let's get straight to it. I love France. I have loved France from the young age of twelve when I was invited to stay in the Pyrenees Mountains for a month. As a twelve year old, and then as a 21 year old, life in France was like a box of chocolates- really good and expensive chocolate.

Life as an English Language Assistant in the rainy city of Perigueux goes as follows...


1) Me: "Im sorry to bother you, Sir, but we haven't had hot water in our apartment for three weeks now."
Frenchman: "Well it's because you live on the 6th floor."

2) Went to the doctor because of severe head pain, along with intermittent hearing loss. Was given a prescription for a CT scan.

Told the school nurse that I was going to have to wait for 4 weeks because they have no sooner appointments due to the medical system here. Was advised to just go to the ER and they will take care of me.


Three hours passed, while lying in a thin hospital night gown, with no blanket, with an old man starring at me in pain, and a woman screaming and moaning in pain, the doctor then finally arrives.

French doctor: "You don't need a scan, you just have a headache."
Me: "But I've been here for three hours and they said I was going to have one."
French: "You can just go home, bye."



3) Attempted to move into my friend's house temporarily until I find another place to live.

French: "You need to leave the property at once! This is horrible, outrageous. Why do you think you can just come here? Did you know that France is terrorist threat "red" right now? Are you terrorists?

Me: "I am American, here to teach English, I am just staying here for two nights until my room is ready."

French: "Did you know that France is at "red" for terrorist warnings.



4) French lady: "Holly, are you really going to go out in the rain when it's pouring that hard?"

Me: "Yes, I don't really have a choice. I need to go to my friends house and buy groceries."

French: "Well, we have a saying here, 'this is the kind of weather we don't even put our dogs in'."


5) French: "This is Holly, she is from San Francisco."

Frenchman #2: "Hello, Holly. (did the french kiss thing on both cheeks). You come from San Francisco?"

Me: "Yes"

Frenchman #2: "San Francisco is ugly."

Me: "Wait, what????"

Frenchman # 2: "Well they eat lobster on the side of the street at 4 pm, 4pm!"

Me: "Ok, first of all, what's the big deal about eating lobster at 4? And how does it make San Francisco ugly?"

Frenchman #2: "4pm is too early to eat dinner."

Me: **JUST WALKED AWAY**



6) Eating a kiwi in the cafeteria with my lunch.

French: "Why are you peeling your kiwi?"

Me: "Because I want to. Why, how do you eat it?"

French: "Well, Holly, here in France we use a spoon to eat kiwis, we don't peel them."




Anyways, I guess one thing I have to learn is... WHEN IN FRANCE...